Absurdity: Jesus to Kick Ass, in Action Figure Form

I stumbled upon this story and my thoughts immediately turned to how perfect these toys would be for little Rod and Todd Flanders. You know what would make this even more educational? If you could squeeze his hand to make him spout bible verses or something.

He could say things like "An eye for an eye" or "God hates fags!".. something to that effect. Maybe throw in a suggestive phrase or two, on important topics like abortion, capital punishment, or even the 'War on Terror'. You know, to start them on the 'right' path early. But you may have some trouble tracking these toys down at your local Wal-Mart.

Only about one-sixth of stores will carry the toys.

I have a hunch which states these might be in.. I'll give you a hint. They're probably the red ones.

The company targets parents who would rather their children play with the faith-based toys rather toys rather than other super hero action figures, the report said.

Well, it's about time kids were taught who the real "superheros" are in this world. Sure, the Transformers are great and all, but can do they have the ability to turn water into wine?? Let's see Spider-man pull off miracles like that. Yeah, that's what I thought. Those "super hero toys" are more like dolls compared to the mighty Jesus action figure. Thanks to Wal-Mart, we can praise the lord, and everyday low prices!

Maybe this will help bring back the kick-ass faith-based video game movement. Be on the lookout for religious gems like these that graced the NES and SNES..